My precious son committed suicide on 28/1/08. It took us all by surprise as we thought he was happy and very connected with his group of friends and in life generally. He returned to college and was focused and was doing very well. It was something he had wanted to do.
The day he committed suicide, he lied in bed close to me for a few minutes, I sensed something was not right. He got out of bed, hugged me and said I love you mum and told me he was going out to have a cigarette. Instead he got into his car and drove away. I thought he was going to visit a friend.
It was not until the police arrived with the terrible news that I realised his worried mind took over.
Life changed from that day. I cannot image my life returning to what it was before this incident. IHe was my baby son, I lived for him, we were life best friends and now my best friend is gone forever. I tell me him daily that I want him by my side when I died his hand will reach out to mine and will continue our journey together again.
I have made a memorial garden for my son, and tried many ways to cope, but the grief takes over in the end.
Rea I understand exactly the feelings you say you had when Emile left, I am still going through it. Nobody seems to understand that time means nothing, getting over it will never happen. We just learn to have two faces towards such people. In fact, I feel worse as time goes by; I long to hug my son one more time.
