"Emile died on his own battlefield. He was killed in action fighting a personal war. He fought against adversaries that were as real to him as his death is real to us. They were powerful adversaries. They took toll of his energies and endurance. They exhausted the last vestiges of his courage and strength. At last these adversaries overwhelmed him. And it appeared that he lost the war. But did he? I see a host of victories that he has won!
For one thing -- he has won our admiration -- because even if he lost the war, we give him credit for his bravery on the battlefield. And we give him credit for the courage and pride and hope that he used as his weapons as long as he could. We shall remember not his death, but his daily victories gained through his kindness, thoughtfulness and tidiness, through his love for family and friends, for animals and music and for all things beautiful, lovely and adventurous. We shall remember his hardworking spirit and physical stamina. We shall remember the many days that he was victorious over overwhelming odds. We shall remember not the years we thought he had left, but the intensity with which he lived the years he had!
Only God knows what this child of His suffered in the silent skirmishes that took place in his soul. But our consolation is that God does know and understands!"
Emile, you are my angel warrior!! You were the most wonderful son any mother could ever ask for. I know you are in heaven fighting to help other souls over who also left by suicide. I am so proud of you my beautiful son!!!
You can now run free on the most beautiful beaches anywhere in the world and surf to your heart's content!!!
The Cord
We are connected My child and I,
By an invisible cord not seen by the eye
It's not like the cord that connects us till birth
This cord can't be seen by any on earth.
This cord does it's work right from the start.
It binds us together attached to my heart.
I know that it's there though no one can see,
The invisible cord from my child to me.
The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord man could create,
It withstands the test can hold any weight.
And though you are gone, though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there but no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore
But this cord is my lifeline as never before.
I am thankful that God connects us this way.
A mother and child, death can't take it away!
~author unknown~
Henriette made this quilt from pictures and clothes of you Emile. Something special to remember my beautiful son by and keep me warm in winter.
Can you believe I finally had a tattoo? Just for you my sweet boy, I would never have gone thru that pain for any other reason!!!
A Note to Emile.
Hello Emile, you don’t know me,
I met your Mom when you became free.
I’ve seen your photos, and read your site,
Your Mom’s trying hard, with all her might.
She misses it all, good and bad,
She’s trying so hard to not be sad.
But when your heart is torn in two,
It’s hard to know just what to do.
She didn’t believe it, but she knew it was true,
She saw the proof, so yes, she knew.
The mind is one thing, the heart another,
She couldn’t believe you left your mother.
In time she knew that she wasn’t to blame,
But that changes nothing about hurts flames.
It licks and simmers at your heart,
Piercing flesh as though with a dart.
I don’t tell you this to hurt you more,
It’s just that she’s shaken to the core.
Her loss of you is so immense,
She has to find a new defence.
She has to guard against the fear,
The one that threatens all she holds dear.
She gets so scared that she did wrong,
That you didn’t feel as if you belonged.
I bet you’re thinking who is she?
And what has she got to do with me?
I’m just another Mum who grieves her child,
And knows what it’s like to feel that wild.
On your Memorial Day this year,
Please send a breeze for her to hear.
Her heart will soar with love and pride,
Because she’ll know you’re at her side.
For Rea, from Yvonne. xxxx
Yvonne,
Laura's Mum.
My very own little Welsh Dragon.
Emile, You have been with me thru all this pain I went thru when you left me. You have guided me to places I needed to be and send people to me who I had to help thru this same pain and heartache. I feel your wonderful pure presence with me always. And your beautiful love filling me when I need you the most. You are my guardian angel and I know everything happens for a greater reason. If I didn’t experience this excruciating agony I would never have had the compassion to reach out to others in need of comfort. You have given me so many signs to show me you are beside me on this journey. I know you have fulfilled your destiny on earth and left to go home. In the process I grew like I never would have, have I not known you and loved you and lost you. Thank God for the years I had you as my son, and now as my spiritual companion. I love you as I have never loved another human being on this earth. I told you before you left how much I love you and I know that you know now it was the truth. You have all the answers to the questions you were seeking on earth. I love you so much my beautiful son and I will never forget you, you brought so much love into my life and enriched my life with your unconditional love. We will meet in person again the day it is my time to return home. In the meantime I will know you are with me by all the signs you always give me. I am so filled with joy knowing you are free from pain and suffering. Nothing can ever hurt you again. I love you forever and ever!!!!
Two years since you left, I can't believe I have survived this long without you... I miss you so much my son... You are always in my heart and my thoughts... I hope you found the peace and rest you so desperately sought in life. I love you forever and a day...
